A Night at the Theatre
or
The Marx Brothers meet the Gringo Invasion

6:20. I arrive at the theatre with Tom. Our regular Sunday night shows in Progreso are getting to be rather routine; I have to make sure that Tom understands where he fits into the routine. And I'ld like to rehearse a couple of ideas with little Oscar. 'Twasn't till yesterday I found out that he's a great break-dancer. The fifteen-year-olds are always the best. It will work into the show perfectly.

TOM: Having heard of Jack's antics down here in Honduras, I was hoping to catch a performance sometime during my summer experience here. The other night, thanks to Jack's powers of persuasion, not only I did I have the chance to catch a performance: I joined in on the fun of performing.

DOUG: We're off to see the Wizard. I lived in Progreso for two years before realizing what wonders Jack was working at teatro la fragua -- without even a curtain to hide behind! Now I'm back in Progreso. I saw Brustein's production of Scapino at the Yale Rep a few years ago. I'm curious to see what tlf has done with it.

6:30. Pablo hasn't set up the sound system yet. He's been getting very sloppy about showing up on time; a mild puteada is in order. Tomorrow. I set up the system, set Tom to working out something for the curtain call, then set to seeing what we can do with Oscar. No Dago yet, but there are enough house people to cover him.

TOM: Jack concocted the idea of presenting me as a famous Polish trumpeter direct from Warsaw to perform an exclusive engagement with teatro la fragua. He was charged with enthusiasm: "It's just what Moliere would have done! It's what those stupid intermezzi really are!"

DOUG: I set off for the theatre on foot. I like this hour of the short-lived tropical twilight (a lucky thing, since even under the midday sun Progreso seems to be in the twilight zone).

6:35. Oscar is great! There's no question of it: 15-year-olds real break-dancers. He electronic boogies in, shakes out the tablecloth, puts it on the table, adjusts it, and he's great, he's Progreso's answer to Menudo, he'll set the spirit from the first moment. He maintains it beautifully up the stairs to the top platform, swings the tray around in a magnificent veronica that leads right into a backward moonwalk, and I see it coming.

TOM: Part of the act was that I was to speak only Polish -- no English or Spanish, thus our only means of communication was through the horn. I tried to scrounge up every Polish phrase I know -- which isn't much.

DOUG: I reach Main Street: the machos cruising on their bicycles, the hembras parading down the sidewalk, knots of people enveloped in the smell of roasting meat from the street vendors, the Arab merchants in front of their tiendas, watching.

6:40. It's strange how long that moment lasts. The guns are all drawn up, the torch has already touched the wick, everything freezes like the face of the executed prisoner in the photo. You see it coming and you have time to hope that you are the one who misjudged and you have time to understand that there is nothing you can do because all of the forces have already been set in motion and you have plenty of time to think "I should have thought of that, I should have warned him."

He's misjudged the distance to the end of the platform and it's like that moment at Owl Creek Bridge except that you're completely conscious all the time of exactly what is going to happen when he puts his foot down and it just keeps going down.

TOM: There was tremendous energy among the players the night of the performance. I had been with them at a rehearsal the previous day and could feel the expression being released form each actor on stage.

DOUG: The single stoplight in town is turned off all day Sunday, as if to signal the strategic retreat by the forces of "development" in the face of el pueblo. The mechanized vehicle enters at its own risk.

6:45. By the time I get backstage, everybody is hovering over Oscar. He broke the fall with his arm. Let us pray that he did not also break the arm with his fall. He's hurting, caught in that agonizing adolescent dilemma of wanting to cry and wanting to be macho and not cry. Where is Pablo? The puteada is a must.

On to rehearsing with Tom before we open the house. Pablo's an essential part of this intermezzo. Have to do what we can. Edy introduces the famous Polish trumpeter. He's not sure if he's Scapino or Edy. Neither am I. I give him an idea of how it should move visually. He picks it up and it's usable. Where is Pablo?

TOM: We made a few final arrangements for the intermezzo. Jack did some coaching, attempting to draw out and channel the players' talent-abundant energy. He kept repeating, "It's pure Moliere!"

DOUG: The movie fare remains the same as always. Erotic Vibrations paired with Schoolgirls on Vacation in the Progreso; Spencer & Hill with a Stallone "I Refought Viet-Nam and Won" at the Moderno; Last Plane from Managua, Como México No Hay Dos, and the usual karate flicks at the two Mayas.

6:55. We do Tom's second entrance. I still can't work in both languages at once. I give Edy a direction in English and he gives me his blankest look. It's not often I can startle Edy into silence. Where is Pablo?

TOM: We rehearsed a bit, but it was clear the outcome was going to depend on the mood of the crowd and the improvisational abilities of the actors.

DOUG: Something looks different about the street that parallels the Company train line. I know -- it's been paved!

7:00. We try adding bugle calls to the bag scene to help Scapino create the whole Honduran army. A good idea but it would take more rehearsal than we have time for. Cut it. Have to wing the ending. Where is Pablo?

DOUG: There's a had-painted sign on the locked gate: "The entrance to teatro la fragua is now on the other side." Figures.

7:05. The girls found some ice to put on Oscar's arm; he's still hurting but the damage doesn't seem to be major. Te voy a matar, Pablo. All department ready. Don't blow up at him before the show. House open. If he shows. No sign of Dago.

DOUG: Little Carlos' house hasn't done it by this time, maybe it's not going to. Carlitos. Exhibit A for the Prosecution: "The Permanent Effects of Infant Malnutrition."

7:15. I remind the ticket-takers to try to keep out our neighborhood gamin Carlitos, quite aware that expectations of success are nil. Carlitos always has the shows memorized and delights in shouting out the lines two beats ahead of the actors. Emergency conference with Edy and Guillermo. Nobody has seen anything of Pablo. There is only one solution: I have to do the role script in hand.

News: Dago is in jail. Not twice in the same week!!!

Fofo brought the news and wants to talk to me. I go looking for Pablo's scrip and tell props and costumes to pull Sylvester's stuff. Pablo I'm turning you over to the cops and demanding the capucha and the whole routine.

DOUG: The new entrance takes me by surprise: white with black trim setting off the red and yellow of the marquee. The old chili patch is taking on the look of a nice little park.

7:20. Fofo is drunk; he cries on my shoulder.

"Why isn't there any justice in my country? Why did they take him and not me?" Fofo, it does no good to ask 'why?'. There isn't any 'why'." I want to come back and work at the teatro. I'm doing nothing for my people." "You're making a lot more money and have a lot more security now." And it's a lot easier to be your friend than to be your boss. I don't tell him that.

TOM: Let's see what I can remember of the Polish National Anthem....

7:30. I check the box office. People are still coming in. If we were sure he was coming late... "Were there roadblocks between here and Lima today?"

Two-minute warning.

DOUG: I sit in the bleachers on the right side behind a little old lady. Two whose center is Carlitos. She doesn't go out of her way to welcome them.

7:35. I feel Edy walk into the office behind me.
"He's here."
"Gracias a Dios" is locked in mortal combat with "Te voy a matar, Pablo."
"Dáme el sombrero y el pañuelo y la camisa. Sit; do nothing; I'll do it." I take off the hat and the bandana and the shirt and give them to Edy and sit down.
I almost forgot: "Can Oscar go on?"

7:37. Go!

DOUG: Like everything in Honduras, the show starts late...

7:40. We're running. Oscar doesn't have much brillo in his first entrance. To be expected. Pablo gives no sign he's disposed to mess thing up.

I find my shirt. Now all I have to do is guide Tom around.

TOM: There was tremendous energy among the players the night of the show, an energy-filled and quick-moving vaudeville-type production.

DOUG: This is definitely Moliere for the masses. The gaggle of kids get into it right away: they're carried away by the juggling and the music and the color and the movement. The little old lady keeps her cool.

8:08. The last scene before Tom's entrance. A last-minute review of directions. "Walk in and sit down at the far table. Obdulio and Oscar play the verse on the recorders, you add the trumpet to the chorus and take it from there. Just make sure you end with the Purcell, which is Edy's cueing to start the next scene. Scatter with everybody else. It's easy: like the cueing on the cadenza of a concerto."

TOM: The only thing I dared try to say in Polish was the National Anthem.

DOUG: Carlitos represents the extreme development of the species who has seen the movie before: he has the show memorized. The little old lady is succumbing. I think she's going to smile.

8:10. EDY (as SCAPINO): And now, ladies and gentlemen, direct from Warsaw, Poland, to the stage of teatro la fragua, the world-famous Polish trumpeter, the Warsaw Wizard: Tom--... How do you last name again?

TOM: I made my entrance during an intermezzo, casually trying to melt into the scene. The first piece was a soft traditional tune familiar to all of them. The sound of the horn welled up and began to fill the teatro and the audience was captivated by the sound. It was so novel to everyone, audience and players, that it was as if people couldn't believe what they were hearing. The experience seemed to tap the creativity within the troupe, and the players adapted brilliantly to myself and to the audience.

8:15. Pablo is "translating" Tom's "Polish" comments into Spanish. Don't think you're going get away with it. I know you're doing to try to take the edge of the puteada.

TOM: Between numbers we played on my being Polish. The only clear means of communication was the music and the creativity of the players, whose spontaneous comedy bridged whatever gap there may have been. The awe, the hush of the crowd, the saucer-sized eyes of the children -- what an honor to share my creativity with them. And what a delight to see how they drank it up.

8:28. Tom starts the Purcell and Oscar starts breaking to the "Trumpet Air." I guess that means Oscar's recovered. It's utterly crazy. A Honduran teen-ager break-dancing to a seventeenth century English tune being played by a Polish trumpeter who is really a gringo. But it's utterly right.

The crowd goes wild.

DOUG: Carlitos and his pals almost kill themselves on the bleachers. The little old lady is twitching a little, almost as if in rhythm.

EDY (as SCAPINO): Shut up that noise and hide, chavos; the old man's coming. Sylvester, get your costume on.

8:32. "Now, Tom, relax till it's time to do 'La Barca de Oro' with Edy."
Fofo comes back; he's calmed down.
"Thanks for helping me through that."
"Just go enjoy the show. We can't do anything about Dago on a Sunday night; we'll get somebody on it the thing in the morning.

9:08. "La Barca de Oro" goes off without a hitch. We're home free. Tom's got one more thing, the curtain call. Edy and Guillermo have moved into the bag scene, which is always a sure bet. The show plays on its own momentum from here on out.

9:14. I go into the office to make sure all the box-office has been done. The lights blink out and immediately come back on.

You see it coming, you have time to think.
"I knew this was going to happen soon because it hasn't happened for a while."
And the building goes dark.

Candles -- do we have any candles? Where are the flashlights? If I can find my lighter we can find the candles. If there are any candles.

I do and we do. There are six or seven candles in the first drawer I open.

EDY (taking control in the house): Be patient and stay where you are. If we can fix the problem, we'll go on with the show. If we can't solve it, we'll give you a ticket good for any future show. Just stay where you are and remember that estamos en Honduras.

DOUG: The lights just went out, but nobody seems to mind. Estamos en Honduras. I wish the couple to my right wouldn't pant so loudly.

9:16. We light the candles and send them out to the house. I find the flashlights and climb up to the light booth to check the fuses. Can't find any problem.
Edy's at the bottom of the ladder. I shout down at him.
"Go on with the show by candlelight ."

TOM: To make the evening a typically Honduran event, the power went out in the final act. But the troupe recovered and the players adeptly finished the performance by candlelight. "The show must go on."

9:18. Edy and Guillermo continue the bag scene. We get a ladder outside to get to the main box. The watchman from the school next door comes running over; he saw a shower of sparks coming out of this wall.

Pablo discovers it: the neutral wire that patches from the main line has burned through. Typical installation of our beloved Electric Company, ENEE. I'm not going to touch that and I'm not going to let any of the muchachos touch it. Have to wait until we can find somebody who knows what he's doing.

The character-by-character entrances that lead up to the finale have started. "That's my cue!"

Pablo flies down the ladder and across the office.

DOUG: Jack had said he wanted to capture the original feeling of Moliere; maybe ENEE just wanted to help. Who needs lights, anyway? The six candles were perfectly placed as footlights, and the show became even more magical.

9:24. Moncho and Mario man the flashlights to get as much light as we can on the few minutes left. Tom has to come up with a new idea for the curtain call.

9:37. GUILLERMO (as ARGANTE): Everybody dance to celebrate the wedding of my son!

TOM: How about "We are the World"?
"Perfect, absolutely perfect. Go!"

DOUG: Half of the audience started dancing on the stage by candlelight. The whole bunch of kids in front of me started singing along with the trumpet, singing "We are the World" in more-or-less English. The little old lady started swaying and clapping with the music.

TOM: Jack is working with these people, trying to draw out of them the imagination and creativity which is hidden and to share it with others. Hondurans want to see that in each other. When they do see it, they can hardly believe it. These people (and all of us) need this.

DOUG: What a great finale to an evening of popular theatre!

"We are the world...."

9:45. "Get things cleaned up as well as you can in the dark. Does anybody know an electrician that we could get here tomorrow? ENEE won't get here for weeks ."
"Mario's brother-in-law."
It has to be Pablo who answers.
"See if Mario can get him here tomorrow."
"Do I get the puteada now or later?"
"It's the first item on tomorrow's agenda."
I need a good night's rest to be able to work up the puteada you deserve.

I don't tell him that.

TOM: The spirit of teatro la fragua runs deeply within these people. Here, theatre is exclusively for the people, the audience. There are no critics to please, no precedents to set, no Joneses to keep up with. The teatro brings alive messages to touch people's lives. If only you could see, as I have, how affected by these young actors the people are. They capture the message. What an honor to have shared in that spirit.

"We are the children..."

10:00. I want to go home and go to sleep.

"Rehearsal tomorrow morning at eight. We've got to have the new show up within a couple of weeks if you guys want to eat. Oscar, take care of that arm."

"We are the ones to make a brighter day, so let's start giving."

The Next Morning. Oscar's arm is fine. He is limping.

"We were on the way home last night, me and Dolores, and right as we were going down Main Street this drunk came out of a bar and he pulled out his pistol and he pointed it up the street and then he pointed it down the street and then he started shooting and I dove behind a trash drum and...."

There follow ten minutes of excited narration of "Dolores and Oscar Join the Raiders of the Lost Ark." Oscar finally gets to the point.

"I tried to run to get away and I caught my foot on a rock..."

The little toe of his left foot is dislocated. The Gods Must Be Crazy.

Peace,

Jack Warner, S.J.

PS: We need your help.

Help to keep Scapino running.
Help to get our new show on the boards.
Help to pay Oscar's medical bills.

Send your contribution to:

Jesuit Mission Bureau, Inc.
4511 West Pine Blvd.
St. Louis MO 63108

It's tax deductible.